Obvious Observations on Health Care

I hate to be one to make obvious observations, but it seems like I need to because of the amount of dumbassedness there is on the internet and on TV and shit.

Obvious observations kind of has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I didn't mean it to. It's as if I was a poet.

And didn't even know it.

So I was reading this article from somewhere that one of my idiot so-called-friends emailed me just cuz she said, "Like, you haven't done a blog in a long time. Maybe this will get you going," as though some stupid re:re:re:re forwarded email spam would be all it took to stimulate my mind into profound thoughts. Well it isn't! Moron! Stop forwarding me stupid emails cuz I don't even read them!

And this guy who wrote the emailed article (I assume it was a guy cuz no womyn could ever be this s-t-u-p-i-d) was going on about how something he called "a single payer system" was a disaster in Canada, which goes to show you how much he knows, since Canada doesn't even have this "single-payer system" thing - they have free health care that you go get for free and then the government pays for it. And he tried to make his point by saying that there were waiting lists to see doctors and get surgeries and stuff, and that this was the reason it was so bad.

OK, Mr. Cowboydumassrepublicratnazifuck, let me explain something very simple to you: when something is really, really good, that's when there is a waiting list. Not when it sucks. When it is good.

Let's say you're like every normal woman, and your boobs are too small or your nose is crooked or you have hideous earlobes or something, and you want to make more money, so you want to get it fixed so you don't look like Frankenstein's hideous offspring anymore. So you look in the phonebook to find a plastic surgeon cuz none of you so-called friends will admit to having any work done even though YOU KNOW THEY DID TAMMY CUZ NOBODY VISITS THEIR AUNT IN WISCONSIN FOR TWO WEEKS AND COMES HOME WITH THREE SIZES BIGGER BOOBS JUST CUZ THEY DRANK THE MILK! Lying bitch. The milk in Wisconsin isn't even that good, cuz it doesn't come from happy cows.

So you're reading the phonebook and you're looking for the name of a doctor that sounds like maybe he went to a decent medical school. You know, a name that's kinda, but not too jewey. And you start to make some calls, and the first guy you call can't even see you for a consult for 7 weeks, but the second guy can see you tomorrow at 9am. Or 1pm. Or anytime after 3.

Which one of these guys is the better doctor, and which one is going to leave you pointing in different directions? That's right. The one with the waiting list is the better doctor.

So, next time your at a party and Mr. Smartypants says, "In Canada, the waiting list for neo-natal care is 10 months long," you can confidently say, "That's cuz they have the best goddmaned doctors in the world, fuckwad."

Oh, and Mr. Smartypants is never a good tipper.

Obvious Observations.